His name is Mpembe
Mpembe means whistle

Let's call this what it is.
We know how it's made

I mean our Cream and Fruit
Collected by rural women

Indigenous to dear Africa
Our wild-harvested fruit

Which is fermented into wine
Gratifying beyond words

Double-distilled to perfection
Enjoyed over ice or on its own

Suave from dairy emulsion
Of known luscious cocktails

Was it necessary for him
To address reporters and all

And tell the whole world
That our mineral-rich nation

Is set export a lot of stuff
Including bird droppings?

Did I hear bird droppings?
When is this foolery ending?

Extolling the new gatherers
He whistled about our wins

Holy Saints! Is he an actor?
What had come over him?

What about beef or other stuff
We used to export amply?

It wasn't a slip of the tongue
We can't blame it on Marula

He drank the fine Cream
As he obviously likes it

As a leader he must learn
To drink and talk sensibly!

Maybe he should be
Schooled on three Ds

Don't drink and drive
Don't drink and drivel

What a marijuana speech
Could he stand upright?

Bird droppings you must be
Dropping dead with laughter!