USA…USA…USA

How to ferment an American, vintage 2022:
Start with a brain— beliefs ingrained all new
ideas disdained—add eyes that hide what
we prize and despise and ears that selectively
hear—instinctively we sneer—

while our mouths are disinclined to dispassionate
discussion or debate, instead disgorging deliber-
ately derogatory high-decibel donkey dung—or
pure horse shit if you will—our noses no longer
able to distinguish

between the pungent perfume of a purple peony
and that putrid potpourri of human piss, dog poop,
plastic bottles and petroleum slicks that splotch
our beaches—we need daily daquiris to survive this
olfactory quackery—

We Americans deplore, belligerently ignore, refuse
to absorb what we might learn if we chose to
discern, to overturn our narcissistic self-concern;
instead we’ve become boorish bigots blighted
by blinkered blindness.

Our painted-on plastic smiles, bobblehead
jack-in-the-box affirmations and those glass-
shattering machine gun giggles are as a matter
of course like a Trojan Horse—you’ll end up far
worse maybe boxed in a hearse,

be it the hoochie-coochie Gucci yoga groupie
whose Buddhist chants suddenly become profane
rants—she’ll scream “I’ll cut off your dick” when
caught in the thick of midday traffic and flip you
the finger, a harbinger that she’s not a dead ringer

for a Tibetan monk, just a frequently drunk self-
centered skunk far less mindful than you thunk…
or the senator from Texas, kingpin in the Christian-
NRA nexus, which by the way hasn’t evolved beyond
homo erectus, a condition that’s extremely infectious,

the Cruz-missile whistles with epistles about love
and compassion while the faces of migrant children
are ashen, supports every legal distortion that would
help outlaw abortion and resents, is incensed by anyone
so plumb dumb they want to take away patriots’ guns.



In truth, American democracy has become
a kakistocracy riddled with hypocrisy while our
Christian aristocracy rails against theocracy.
Throw in capitalist oligopoly—as evidenced
by that triangle isosceles—

Musk, Bezos and Gates with powers like Mephistopheles—
their runaway train the bane of minimum incomes
humane despite the altruism they feign, but stashing
their cash is a big concern because it floods in faster
than it can be churned

to let them owe nothing on their tax returns despite
politicians’ battle cry swearing we’re the needy’s
staunchest ally, we’ll protect the little guy, instead
it’s all pie in the sky as they turn a blind eye to the
small fry…Jefferson once observed

a nation gets the leaders it deserves, so we are unnerved
by our theater of the absurd, president a serial plagiarist,
forty years he spent on the waiting list for the chance to
become a nepotist, pretty seedy but his black sheep son
was needy, so why should he

have to explain helping Junior obtain a cushy job
in Spain—weather much better than in Bahrain—
still, despite public disdain, he’s better than his
predecessor, an incessant sexual aggressor until
a porn star became a public confessor—God bless her!



How laughable our SUV’s when most Americans stay
slouched in front of their TV’s—no exercise please,
we’ll just sit and wheeze, await the onset of heart disease,
only getting off our ass to stomp on the gas for a triple
burger with cheese or a bucket of grease from KFC.

It’s a real puzzler why we insist on buying these gas guzzlers.
Does stomping on the accelerator give us the same release as
a teen-age masturbator? Our divine creator—his compassion
is surely greater for the young ejaculator than the pollution
perpetrator but regardless

the rich buy oceanfront properties completely callous about
rising seas, reveling in realtors’ genuflection—ooh, those
commissions give me an erection—conveniently ignoring the
obvious connection between their Bentleys and private jets
—for the ozone layer as bad as it gets

but the 1% show no regrets, still we can’t blame it all
on the wealthy when the rest of us are equally stealthy
spouting we want to save the planet but you better not
raise our taxes dammit and you can cram it if you think
I’ll give up my jet ski, motor boat or half-hour shower,

but why all this excessive vehicular power when you can’t
drive more than 40 miles an hour on so-called interstates
that threaten to perforate a man’s prostate; imagine paying
a toll for potholes that bruise your very soul like there’s
a telephone pole or hungry mole up your butthole,

the result of a 50-year disrupture in upgrading infrastructure,
schools crumbling because of bureaucratic bumbling and
corrupt contractor bungling leaving taxpayers mumbling while
parents care less about curriculum reform than ensuring
the football team has new uniforms,

even though the players risk dehydration because there’s not
enough water to quench the nation and nobody wants to pay
for desalinization, we’d rather spend the money at the gas
station driving cross-country on vacation—besides, if we wear
tinted glasses we can’t even see those greenhouse gasses.



Have you ever wondered as our nation is torn asunder if
solutions are encumbered when womens’ opportunities
are numbered, possible progress plundered by a refusal
to compromise, those good old boys regurgitating social
media lies…well, female subjugation

goes way beyond glass ceiling degradation, women
possibly facing tubal ligation to avoid unwanted impreg-
nation given religious zealots’ contortions and distortions
to outlaw all abortions knowing they have a stacked
Supreme Court as a last resort

perfectly arrayed to be swayed to overturn Roe v Wade—
women should be afraid, their ownership of their bodies
effectively spayed—plus given the pachyderm party’s
obdurance there can be no assurance that birth control
will still be covered by medical insurance. It’s detestable

that a woman’s body so delectable becomes a defenseless
receptacle while guided missile sperm,those irresponsible
little worms, are forever free to squirm, male semen a steaming
demon with a right to excretion until depletion, then reload
the gun, time for another run, oh what fun…even

in the case of rape given today’s legal landscape, the horny
ape has an easy escape: she never said no, was dressed like
a ho, an enthusiastic lover, he was just one of many others,
ignore all this noise from the slut’s lawyer’s ploys, boys will be
boys and they’re entitled to their toys.



How can a nation with so many church steeples
have more guns than it has people? How can
a citizenry be so feeble to watch the gun lobby
cajole and wheedle to influence the political needle?
How can that even be legal?

How is it that you can call an Uber to deliver an Uzi,
purchase a Mauser at a McDonald’s drive thru window,
buy a bazooka at your local Best Buy or have Amazon
deliver an assault rifle within 24 hours…and no one will
bristle at Teslas equipped with Tomahawk missiles.

Are American men at the junction of so much
erectile dysfunction that we have the unction
—and Congress lacks the compunction to issue
an injunction—to claim an unfettered right to bear
arms regardless of how many innocents are harmed?

Does income inequality cause rapid fire idolatry,
compel a gospel of the gun where you shoot anything
hostile just for fun? If someone gets in your way, pretend
you’re a green beret, just blow ‘em away. Mass shootings
every day…that’s just the price of democracy, okay?

Guns can be a libido placebo,like a dose of Viagra which
makes us think we can survive the falls of Niagara and it
should be noted that just like with covid—you know,
the obscene smokescreen about the vaccine—it’s all
about our God-given freedom,

no need to bore you with the philosophical tedium,
it’s all about our inalienable right unless you happen
to be non-white, to grab an AK-47 and enter the fight
big government to smite, and if kindergartners are caught
in the rampage, sorry but that’s just collateral damage.

God repossess America, give her a shove
Stand astride her and chide her
For the blight of the extreme right and self-love

From treeless mountains to women wary
To the shooting galleries in our homes
God coalesce America to end this syndrome.