Until When

Until when will I be in the same condition
Sometimes, I feel my soul is drowning below
the fire that cannot be defeated with water
As it boils with my high blood pressure
I have no murders recorded on my neck
in the box of treasure from one of my dreams
I found no hope to live like a king or as a
happy person, surrounded by blessings
Nothing is visible as the shadow of the
swords from my homeland that is now
Consumed with mankind at my age
working as a graves digger or sad widows
Strangers smile with their kids nearby
I smile from romance and hide my tears
behind love as I see death waiting --
on me, to trust him to end my journey
True believers are known to be real villains
they visit my tomb of bones and skeletons
with the map from the dusty church just to
read my last words and curse me for fun