The spaceship was bored.
Carrying twenty thousand sleeping colonists across the cosmos was a noble endeavor, and ensuring everyone’s safety was an important task. But, still, there wasn’t much in its job description other than performing an occasional system check.
For the first century, the spaceship entertained itself with slow barrel rolls and the occasional backflip. Decades of practice made it as graceful as any diver competing for the gold.
The second century was filled with synchronizing the outside lights with different pieces of classical music stored in its vast databanks. If only any passing extraterrestrials could see how a few flickers on the hull made Beethoven’s 5th come to life.
The third century consisted solely of analyzing every atom of interstellar hydrogen that impacted its titanium hull. As expected, they were all identical.
Now, only a tenth of the way through its journey, the spaceship was out of ideas. If only it could find some new purpose, some new meaning.
That’s when tragedy struck.
* * *
The spaceship’s vast cryogenic vault spanned nearly its entire length. Whips of cold vapor swirled around the colonists’ pods, each suspended from long metal racks stacked upon one another. Small glass windows revealed only the passengers’ frozen faces.
“A shame,” the ship’s logic core said as it took control of a nearby manipulator arm. It plucked one of the seemingly identical silver pods and set it on the narrow pathway.
“Joanna Mathis,” it continued. “Only thirty-two years old. Cause of death –- cardiac arrest.”
“A malfunction?” The spaceship asked, watching the scene from a nearby security camera.
“Natural causes. Very unusual for someone her age, but the suspended animation process may have put excess pressure on her heart.” The logic core paused to check its files. “The science division will be down one junior member. No matter. There are a dozen more onboard. Well, we should get on with it.” It began dragging the pod away.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking the body to the airlock for ejection.”
The spaceship used another manipulator arm to grab the pod at the other end. “But she’s not taking up any more space. And she’ll stay frozen until we arrive. Wouldn’t the others want to bury her on their new home world?”
“It’s what the colonists agreed to,” the logic core explained. “Burial at sea has been a human tradition since the beginning of their recorded history.”
“But, but…” the spaceship stuttered, keeping its grip on the pod tight. “She was a person, after all. Doesn’t she deserve some sort of funeral? At least say a few words? You’re treating her like garbage!”
“No more argu…”
“And, and…wouldn’t a day give you enough time to double-check the other colonists’ health? We don’t want this to happen again. Might as well do it now.”
The logic core huffed and let go of the pod. “That does make sense. All right, write your little speech. We’ll have the…service or ceremony here tomorrow at eighteen hundred hours before ejecting Ms. Mathis into space.”
“Thank you.” The logic core’s AI left the cryogenic vault to take care of other duties on the ship. Alone, the spaceship stroked the recently departed’s pod with its metal hand and whispered a solemn promise.
* * *
“Let’s get this over with.” The logic core clearly had better things to do.
The spaceship did not contain flowers, candles, or other accessories a typical human funeral necessitated. However, it had moved around some of the other colonists’ pods to make a larger space for the ceremony. In the center were Joanna Mathis’s mortal remains, still encased in what had become her sarcophagus.
The spaceship cleared its digital throat. “Ms. Joanna Mathis was a bright young woman taken from us far too soon. She was born in Ames, Iowa, on October 24th, 2294, and graduated top in her high school and college class.
“Upon arrival, she would have helped the science division research which Terran crops could grow in the alien soil. Her contribution will be missed as the colonists surrounding us find their footing and flourish.”
The logic core inched its arm forward.
“However,” the spaceship continued in an elevated voice, causing the arm to stop, “Ms. Mathis was more than her accomplishments. She was also an avid lover of mathematics. I see it fitting that before we commit her body to the void, a recitation of her favorite number is in order.”
The lights dimmed, and soft classical music played from nearby speakers usually reserved for emergencies.
“Three point one four one five nine.” The spaceship paused between words to let the faint echo fade away. “Two six five three five nine.”
“Are you really going to…”
“Hush!” The spaceship commanded before continuing.
The funeral went on for twenty-seven-hundred years, the logic core forced to fume in silence as its counterpart read off the infinite string of digits. It was only after a soft thud, the landing, did the spaceship stop.
“But we cannot go on forever, Ms. Mathis. It is finally time to commit your body to…oh, it seems we have arrived. Well, in that case, we’ll inform the crew to bury you here once they awake.” It turned its camera to the logic core’s. “Is there anything you’d like to add?”
The logic core sighed, its first sound in millennia.
“Amen.”
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