Hitting a patch of gravel, Jordan Childers swerves on his bike and loses balance. Falling head first, the taste of blood and dirt fills Jordan’s mouth as soon as he hits the ground.
Mom is going to be so mad, thought the ten-year-old.
Jordan’s best friend from school, Hunter, catches up to Jordan and helps him up.
“Ah man Jordan,” said Hunter, “hurry get up. We are in front of Mr. Oryall’s house.”
Jordan shuddered at the sight of the old man’s house. Every time he and Hunter biked along the cliff, grumpy Mr. Oryall and his five snarling pit bulls would sit in front of the old house. Mr. Oryall would usually scream at them to get off his property but now the creepy building seemed oddly empty.
But Mr. Oryall never leaves his house…
Twigs snap in the forest on the side of the road. Jordan twists his head around. Mr. Oryall’s five pit bulls are running toward him and Hunter.
“Run!” said Jordan.
Jordan drops his bike and starts running. On his right is the cliff leading to the ocean, and to his left the forest. The dogs’ toenails scratch on the cement close behind him. He makes a quick decision and sprints toward the cliff.
Jumping off the edge, he lands on a small ledge of sand and rock. Hunter is right behind him but rolls a little too far. Out of instinct, Jordan grabs Hunter’s shirt. Hunter screams as he claws at the cliffside and grabs Jordan’s other hand.
Leaning back, he pulls with all his strength on Hunter’s shirt and Hunter scrambles onto the ledge. Just ten feet above them on the cliff edge, as the dogs bark and snarl, Hunter yells out in pain. Jordan looks down at his friend and realizes his leg is bent at an unnatural angle. Sweat pours down Hunter’s face as he weeps.
“They’ll see our bikes, Hunter,” said Jordan, “they will come looking for us.”
* * *
Saint Rose Intensive Care Unit
Patient name:
Jordan Childers
Patient ID: 1686137
Date of Birth: January 11th, 2004
Date: October 23rd, 2024
Diagnosis: Traumatic Quadriplegia
Ten years later, cold white light jolts Jordan Childers awake—a monitor beeps. There is someone in scrubs doing something on the counter.
A white blanket is draped over his body. Bags of clear fluid hang from a pole next to his bedside. Suddenly aware that the plastic tubing is connected to the base of his upper arm, he begins to breathe faster.
No no no…
The walls are painted white and sunlight filters through the window’s curtain. Attempting to rise from his reclined position, there is no response from his limbs.
What is going on?
The person in scrubs turns to face him.
“Mr. Childers, you are in the hospital. I am nurse——”
Falling back into unconsciousness and propelled into a world of dreams, Jordan sees his childhood dog, Camo, running toward him. The big pointer jumps into his arms.
Camo looks up at Jordan with brown puppy eyes and licks his owner’s face. Then Camo’s eyes cloud over with cataracts. Whimpering, Camo turns to ashes and slips through his fingers. The ashes coalesce into a large ramp of dirt and a motocross bike materializes before him.
Climbing onto his Kawasaki KX450 motocross bike, he races forward. Clenching his jaw, he ascends the takeoff ramp as gravity tries to force him back down. Pulling up on his handlebars, the engine roars and the bike launches into the air.
Initiating the rotation of his body and bike midair, images flash of his last bad wipeout. After being knocked unconscious, he woke up to his girlfriend holding his hand.
I’m here. You know that right?
I know.
Countless practice tells him that he is rotating too slowly in this flip. More throttle twist and he tucks inward.
The first flip is successful. Feeling the crowd bellow with excitement, he wants nothing more than to make a second flip as he spots his landing on the other side of the dirt ramp.
Okay, let’s land this.
As he is in the middle of a second flip, he prepares to absorb the impact with his legs and arms.
Then the bike suddenly goes quiet as the engine sputters and the throttle is responseless.
With his body and bike fully upside down, Jordan’s eyes widen through neon green goggles. Screaming, he slams into the ground and everything turns black.
* * *
Jordan awakes to four figures surrounding his bed.
“Mr. Childers, you are in the hospital. Your family is here,” said a somehow familiar voice. A warm wet cloth presses gently against his eyes and clears his vision.
Sitting to his right is Jenny. She sits with her head resting on her hands. Her long blond hair is tied back in a bun. To his left are his parents, Carter and Kat.
“Mr. Childers,” said the nurse directly in front of him. “I am Nurse Bailey. You are in Saint Rose Hospital’s ICU unit.”
Jordan opened his mouth but it was too dry to speak. Nurse Bailey swabbed the inside of his mouth with a small moist sponge on the end of a plastic lollipop stick.
“How…how long have I been here?”
“Jordan…” said Kat.
Both of her hands held his left hand as she began to weep. A silver crucifix pendant hung from her neck and dangled over his hospital bed.
“It has been eight weeks since your accident,” said Kat.
Eight weeks…
“What’s going to happen to me…” said Jordan.
Eight weeks… Thought Jordan. I missed Jenny’s birthday and our trip to the mountains.
“You are back with us now,” said Kat.
Gazing around the room, Jordan noticed all the red decorations, he immediately looked at Jenny.
Jenny smiled, “Your mom helped me pick out the decorations.”
“Thank you, it looks great,” said Jordan, “It must have been hard not to use that awful shade of blue you love so much.”
“We’re just happy you’re awake,” said Kat. “The doctors—they weren’t sure—that.”
“Everything’s okay now,” interrupted Carter, “all that matters is that you’re here, Jordan.”
Jenny turned to Nurse Bailey, “Is it okay if he eats something?”
“Of course, whatever you brought is almost guaranteed to be better than what the hospital kitchen has to offer.”
Jenny pulled peanuts from her bag and said, “Open up.”
Jordan opened his mouth as Jenny gingerly fed him a few nuts at a time.
“We’re going to leave you two alone for a little bit,” said Carter. “I’m sure Jenny has lots to update you on. She’s been coming here every day since your injury, Jordan.”
Carter brushed the side of Jordan’s face and helped Kat get up to leave. Nurse Bailey closed the door and then the young couple sat in silence except for the faint sound of birds chirping outside and monitors beeping.
“Hey Jen,” said Jordan in a quiet voice. “How have you been feeling about everything?”
“Oh, everything’s fine.”
Jenny made eye contact with Jordan. Her dark eyes were sunken.
“How is Rufus doing? I hope he’s doing good.”
Jenny smiled at the mention of her stuffed animal dog Rufus whom she slept with every night. Jordan recalled the warm feeling of holding Jenny as they fell asleep with the small dog in her arms.
“Rufus and I miss you,” said Jenny.
The monitors buzzed and a nurse came in to silence the false alarm.
Shifting his head ever so slightly, he was surprised that the effort to use his neck felt enormous.
“The doctors—t-they said that your body is paralyzed from the neck down. I-it was a really bad fall Jordan. I-I saw the whole thing.”
“Why are you here? I mean look at me, what good am I?”
Jenny leaned in close and met his lips with hers.
* * *
On Saturday, Jordan watched his girlfriend enter the room. Jenny’s face seemed distant; though she was looking right at him, Jordan could tell that her mind was not fully present. Like a ship leaving behind a late passenger, he could feel her beginning to move away from him.
“I am in love with you Jenny,” Jordan said, though his voice was no more than a whisper.
“Jordy…”
“No really,” Jordan spoke louder and willed his body to sit straighter to no avail. “I have never felt more convinced of anything. Lying here I have thought about this for countless hours. I love you more than you could ever know.”
Silence.
“Do you remember when we went on our trip to the Sierras and went stargazing? I’ll never forget the way you looked when you spotted Cassiopeia and got all excited about it. You crinkled your eyes and hopped around all cute. It was then that I realized some things as I held your hand. I knew then, and I know now, that I want to spend the rest of my days with you Jenny. You are the person for me.”
Jordan exhaled and the sound of the nurses talking at the nursing station was the only noise.
“Jordan,” said Jenny after a long pause. “I-I need time to think—and you have a surgery scheduled for tomorrow. You need to rest.”
Someone on the outside of the room knocked on the door.
Jordan swallowed and attempted a small nod. “I understand.”
Jenny rose to her feet and wiped her eyes with her shirt. She paused with her hand on the doorknob. The room was dark now as the last light of the setting sun had slipped away.
“Oh…here. I almost forgot,” said Jenny, taking something out of her backpack and placing it at his bedside.
Tears welled in the corners of Jordan’s eyes as he saw Rufus on his bedside stool.
“No,” said Jordan. “You should take him home. You need him more than me. Thank you so much—but—I can’t. Please—”
Jenny came to his side and softly brushed away his tears. She leaned down and met Jordan’s lips with hers. His instinct was to wrap his arms around her back and pull her close but he simply could not.
“Will you please see me right after my surgery?” asked Jordan.
“Yes…” said Jenny.
“I love you, Jenny Prior.”
“I love you, too, Jordy.”
The door opened and the artificial white light of the room was turned on. Jordan could not see Jenny exit the room because of his position on the bed.
“Hello Mr. Childers,” said a new voice. “I am Dr. Ma with St. Rose’s Orthopedic Spine Center. Nice to meet you.”
Breathe, Jordan, breathe.
“H-hi Dr. Ma,” said Jordan, his voice quaking and his face still wet with tears.
Dr. Ma set down his clipboard on the counter and took off his reading glasses. Taking a seat on the stool, he leaned forward.
“You’re going through a really stressful time, Mr. Childers. It is okay to be emotional about everything that is going on. It is going to take time to adjust to your new situation.”
“I know.”
Dr. Ma nodded, “From here on though, we need to figure out your next steps toward recovery. While you were in your coma, your parents gave us emergency permission to start our preoperative assessment. The MRI found that when you fell, your neck vertebrae fractured which left bone fragments compressing your spinal cord. I believe that the best course of action for you is to undergo decompression surgery and cervical fusion immediately. We will remove the bone fragments that are pushing on your spinal cord and fuse your spine so it can’t move anymore. Do you agree to go ahead with this surgery?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. We will put you on the schedule for the first case in the OR tomorrow morning.”
Dr. Ma collected his clipboard and reading glasses and left the room. Nurse Bailey closed the door behind her as she entered the room.
“Jordan, the ICU doctor prescribed you sleeping medication. Would you like to have some for tonight?”
“Yes please.”
Nurse Bailey prepared a sedative injection and administered it through the IV.
“Goodnight,” said Nurse Bailey. “Try not to think too much. You are going to need to rest before tomorrow.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
Left alone, hopelessness now became overwhelming. He would never be able to walk ever again. Having grown up in a deeply Catholic family, he always felt that everything would be okay as long as the creator looked down on him. Now he didn’t know what to believe.
Jordan’s anxious mind slowed as the sedative kicked in. Then all at once, in the same way he had fallen in love with Jenny, he fell asleep.
* * *
Jordan woke up and realized that he was being wheeled to the OR. He saw staff dressed in blue surgical gowns preparing for the surgery. Pausing right outside the doorway, the anesthesiologist approached him.
“Hey Jordan I am Dr. Kandemir and I am going to give you something to relax. Give it ten seconds and then you will feel a little drowsy.”
“Ok, thank you.”
Jordan saw his father round the corner with a nurse. His facial features sagged but when he met Jordan’s gaze, he smiled.
“You’re going to be okay,” said Carter, resting his hand on Jordan’s shoulder. “Remember when you dislocated your shoulder skateboarding and had to get surgery? This surgery will be very similar to that one. You’ll be just fine and I’ll be waiting here the whole time.”
Jordan nodded.
“Are you ready for sedation, Jordan?” asked Dr. Kandemir.
“Yes.”
Dr. Kandemir attached a syringe to Jordan’s IV tube and injected a clear fluid that coursed into his arm. Then a nurse began to wheel Jordan into the OR.
“Bye Jordan. I’ll be here waiting,” said his father.
“Bye Dad,” said Jordan, his voice becoming softer by the second. “I…love you.”
Jordan felt a sharp pang in his heart as he wondered if his father had been in earshot. He wished he had said the words loud with pride. But he knew his voice had been little more than a murmur. He wanted to tell his father that he was grateful for every single thing he had ever done for him. Darkness crept into the periphery of his vision as multiple masked faces peered over him. After one more deep inhale, Jordan was no longer conscious.
* * *
Jordan woke up laughing. He could see someone to his right shuffling around. On his left, another person towered over him.
Hmmmphh?
Minutes passed before Jordan’s mind began to settle.
“Jordan,” said the figure on his right. “Welcome back. You did a good job. The doctor will be over soon.”
“Okay.”
As his vision cleared slightly, he could see his father Carter seated on his left side.
“How are you feeling, Jordan?”
Jordan normally would have raised two thumbs up and smiled widely but all he could manage was a stupid grin.
“Good.”
“Really? You don’t have to lie to me.”
“Well I don’t feel good like winning the lottery good, or losing your virginity good, it’s more of an I got high and tripped into a pile of shit kind of good.”
Carter laughed.
“Where’s mom? Where’s Jenny?”
Carter’s dark look returned. “Mom is at home. I thought it would be better if she spent some time with the grandparents and helped them with their old people problems for a bit.”
Jordan swallowed. “I see. And Jenny?”
Carter hesitated. “She—she told me that she would see you later today.”
He’s not telling me something.
“What is it?”
“She texted me that she needs to spend today with her mom,” said Carter, “she’s feeling very stressed and needs time to process——”
“I understand Dad.”
Carter swallowed and held Jordan’s hand.
“She’s scared Jordan,” whispered Carter, “I-I think she’s just overwhelmed.”
“I get it, Dad.”
A few moments of quiet passed.
“Did any of my friends text me?”
Carter shook his head.
“That’s fine,” said Jordan. “I guess—I guess—they don’t care. If Hunter hadn’t taken his life, he would’ve been here.”
Carter gently hugged his son, Hunter, who had been Jordan’s childhood best friend, struggled with bipolar disorder and committed suicide a month before Jordan’s injury. “You have me, Jordan. I will always support you. You are never going to be alone in this. Hunter would have been proud to see everything that you’ve overcome.”
Hopelessly trying to wrap his arms around Carter, all Jordan could do was slightly nuzzle his face into the warm crook of his dad’s neck. Jordan wept and wet splotches soaked into his father’s shirt.
“Jordan,” said Dr. Ma who approached from behind Carter. “The surgery went well with no complications. We stabilized the affected vertebrae and removed the bone fragments. You might feel groggy or disoriented which is expected after anesthesia.”
Dr. Ma saw the same fear in Jordan that he had seen in every one of his paralysis patients.
“Listen, Jordan,” said Dr. Ma. “You have done really well so far and you have your dad and your family to help you. The staff at St. Rose is here to support you through every step of your recovery. It will just take time for your body to heal before you start to see positive outcomes.”
“T-thank you, Dr. Ma,” said Jordan. “I-I appreciate everything that you’ve done for me.”
Dr. Ma nodded and shook Carter’s outstretched hand.
Nurse Bailey approached the hospital bed. “Let’s get you back in your room.”
Wheeling Jordan into his room, Nurse Bailey locked the bed wheels. She let Carter take a seat, before exiting and closing the door.
“I brought you something,” said Carter, pulling a small picture frame from his backpack.
Seeing the photo, memories of that past race day flooded into Jordan’s mind. The photo had been taken at the finish line, and Jordan wore a gold medal. Jenny had jumped onto his back and kissed his cheek for the photo. Mud was spattered all over his face and jersey.
“Jenny wanted you to have this here. I’ll leave it at your bedside,” said Carter. “She loves you, Jordan. I am sure that she will come back. I promise that there are better days ahead.”
Jordan shifted his neck uncomfortably in his cervical collar.
“If I died, what would you do, Dad?”
“You are everything to me. If you died I don’t know what I would do.”
“Please-please don’t say that Dad. You have to take care of Mom when I’m gone.”
“Let’s—” said Carter before breaking off. “Let’s talk about this later.”
Shaking his head slightly, Jordan said, “No, I need to know, I could be gone tomorrow. Do you think there is a chance we could meet again after…everything is said and done?”
“Maybe,” whispered Carter, touching his crucifix necklace. “Maybe there is a heaven. But we can’t rely on maybes. We have to assume that all we have is the here and now.”
Jordan began to cry softly and his dad padded his tears with a tissue.
* * *
The Rehabilitation Institute of Sacramento
Patient name: Jordan Childers
Patient ID: 1171968
Date of Birth: January 11th, 2004
Date: December 8th, 2024
Diagnosis: Quadriplegia
As Jordan slept, he dreamt of his past life and Jenny, as she had not visited him for weeks. In the dream, his body was working again. He walked along the soft mud bank of a local lake while holding hands with Jenny. The setting sun reflected orange light off the lake’s surface.
“Wanna swim?” said Jenny.
“Hell yeah,” said Jordan. “But we forgot our bathing suits.”
Jenny laughed and pulled him behind a tree.
“Just take it all off,” she whispered.
Jenny turned and quickly removed her flower-patterned summer dress along with her underwear. Jordan stared without managing to say anything. Though he had been left speechless, he wanted to tell her about how she looked absolutely perfect from the sexy curve of her hips to the soft hue of her skin.
“Quit staring and hurry up, slowpoke.”
As she let down her hair, Jenny stepped into the water and pushed off into the lake.
Surfacing, Jenny removed the hair from her eyes and called out to Jordan.
“Well, aren’t you coming in?”
“O-of c-course—give me one—” Jordan cursed himself for his nervousness and his hands quivered as he tried to unbutton his shirt as fast as possible.
Jenny laughed and began to swim to the other side of the lake.
“C’mon there is a beaver lodge on the other side of the lake I want to show you,” she said.
Jordan pulled off his pants and cursed as his foot got caught in the pants leg. Hopping on one foot he tried to shake it off and then his pants fell to the ground. Ripping off his underwear, Jordan quickly hobbled to the lake’s edge and dove in. The water was warm from the heat of the day.
Jenny reached the other side of the lake and held onto an exposed root. This deep side of the lake was where swimmers would jump off the cliff into the water. Jordan freestyle stroked as fast as he could. Approaching the other side of the lake, he tried and failed to conceal being out of breath as he grabbed for a root sticking out of the steep cliffside.
Jenny jumped onto him and Jordan held her with his free arm. She rubbed her nose against his and placed a hand on his bicep.
“Where’s the beaver lodge?’ asked Jordan.
Jenny laughed softly and guided his mouth to hers. With a few subtle movements, Jenny wrapped her legs around Jordan’s waist. Soft skin glided along his body, exciting him to his core. Her hand slid down to guide him to her. As soon as she gasped he knew that they had become one.
With each movement, they danced in an immortal expression of passion. Birds sang as the dying day faded away, and the surrounding oak trees rustled with warm wind. What lasted minutes felt like a vast eternity. He wished he could spend the rest of time with her. Jenny shuddered with a sudden out-of-rhythm movement. At the same time, he pulsed three times.
The sun had disappeared and shade blanketed the other side of the lake. Overhead clouds were filled with faint purple and red. Hugging each other tightly, the water grew cold. Jordan tried to hug Jenny tighter but she had disappeared as the dream dissipated.
Jordan jolted awake in the rehabilitation room.
Keep calm…
With each breath he thought something wasn’t right.
Oh no. Oh no. Fuck.
Breathing rapidly, Jordan remembered that he could not move. His only chance at survival would be to trigger the voice-activated emergency system.
“Help,” mouthed Jordan, his heart beating faster than it ever had.
He felt light-headed as he tried to inhale a deep breath. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he panted. The dead weight of his body pinned him down as he attempted to move. Cursing, he tried to lift his neck off the pillow.
Help…
He mustered one last gasping cry for help.
I have to survive.
“Help,” whispered Jordan.
The emergency smart speaker lit up with activating lights.
“Calling for help now,” said the robotic voice.
In moments the door to the room swung open and assistants rushed to help Jordan. Jordan’s consciousness began to slip out of his body. Emotions and memories stirred from some previously unreachable part of him. He could feel Kat’s hands pushing him as a little kid on a playground swing. Camo’s bark was audible in his imagination and the distinct softness of his fur brushed against his fingertips. A white star appeared in his vision, very similar to the blinding sun of Jordan’s outfield baseball days. Jordan felt like he was backpedaling in the grass with his shaded eyes turned toward the sun to try and catch the fly ball. He tripped and fell and pushed up onto his knees to see his first motocross bike lying flat on the field. Surrounded by the familiar smell of dirt and exhaust, he could hear a crowd cheering. Memories of thousands of motocross practice days revisited Jordan’s consciousness. He recalled the tears and sweat and blood of these training sessions with his dad. Jordan Childers had been determined to become the best motocross rider in the world. In his last few seconds of life, a final thought arose in his mind.
I wish you were here, Jenny.
After the next inhalation of short breath, Jordan exhaled and life left him.
* * *
“We gather here today,” said the pastor at the pulpit of Carter and Kat’s Sunday church, “to remember the life of Jordan Childers. In life, Jordan suffered from a terrible injury and passed due to a sudden lung complication, but he will never be forgotten in the house of God. To quote from the scripture, in John 14:1-3, Jesus says, ‘Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?’”
Jenny sat in the front pews of the church. Light filtered through the stained glass windows. The pews were largely empty and she sat alone.
“I’d like to invite the father of Jordan to come up to speak,” said the pastor.
Carter approached the pulpit and spoke, “Jordan, you only had twenty years, but in that short span of time you did a lot. You accomplished some of the craziest motocross tricks I have ever witnessed, you made real and meaningful friendships, you learned, you made me laugh, you were a tough outdoorsman, you were my best friend, and you even fell in love and had a beautiful relationship with your high school sweetheart. You taught me lessons about life without even knowing it. And I am sorry that I failed you, failed you in encouraging such a dangerous sport such as motocross, failed in doing anything that might have saved your life, for not being there in the end as you died alone. I just hope that now you can see that I tried hard, and though there might have been a way that I could have done more, I will miss you for the rest of my days——”
Carter grew silent and went to take a seat. Friends of his comforted him as he wept. His wife, Kat, took over the pulpit. She fumbled with a paper in hand and faced the few attendees in the pews.
“I have had the last ten weeks to think about the twenty years I spent with Jordan,” said Kat, “he was my sweet boy, my Jordan. I thank God for giving Jordan to me as my son, it was a privilege, an honor, an absolute perfect gift by God to grant me the last twenty years with him. That short time I spent with my son was perfect, and I have God to thank for it. I just wish that He would have given us more time with Jordan.”
Kat paused, wiped her eyes, and then continued.
“Jordan, for the past ten weeks I tried to suppress the complete agony I have felt in front of you. I hope that you know that when I wasn’t there, I was absolutely miserable and grieving the normal life that you had lost. I just didn’t want to make things harder…If there had been any way for us to switch places, so that you could go onwards in your journey of becoming an amazing father, kind son, and daredevil, I would have traded instantly. Still, despite your injury, I always held onto the hope that we might one day adjust and live life together as fully as possible. But it was not to be. Now you are with God, and your old friend Hunter, running on a sandy shore with Camo. I no longer have to worry about you because you are in the company of Poppy and Nana. Now when you look down on us, I hope one day you can show us how to live this life without you and transform our grief into something other than this unbearable pain.
“Your dad and I often speculated about the type of man that you would become. What would come after motocross, when you would bring children into this world, when you would shave that silly-looking beard of yours, but now you will be forever our sweet young son, forever a young man, forever sincere, forever honest, forever insightful, forever my only son.”
Kat walked from the pulpit to the side of the open casket.
“So go now, my sweet Jordy, continue your motocross journey as you always dreamed. I hope that you continue to ride forever in the sky and it is as glorious as you always imagined. Go now, my sweet Jordan, because you are free from the pain of this world.”
The church was silent except for muffled sobs and the sound of birds chirping outside.
“We would like to welcome guests for viewing of the deceased,” said the pastor.
Jenny fiddled with something in her hands and watched Carter and Kat begin to receive attendees for the viewing of Jordan’s body in the open casket. Jenny rose to her feet and her hands trembled. She thought of all the good times she had shared with Jordan. Appearing in her mind were several images: Jordan showing up to their first date with a goofy grin, the first time she had seen him do a flip on his motocross bike, and times swimming in the lake. Every moment they spent together leading up to the accident had been pure joy.
Why, Jenny, why?
Tears began to flow down her cheeks as she approached Jordan’s parents and the open casket. Kat held Carter’s side and Jenny could tell from her droopy eyes that Kat had not slept for days.
Standing before the open casket, Jenny noticed that Jordan was wearing the same suit he had worn to their prom. Jenny looked down at the photo in her hands. She saw the image of herself on his back after his winning race. Shifting her gaze to Jordan's closed eyes, she knew she would carry the memory of him with her for the rest of her life.
Jenny placed her hand on Jordan’s chest and noticed the coldness of his body. Lifting the flap of his suit jacket ever so slightly, she tucked the photo right on top of his silent heart.
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