Discourse With a Minor Deity

By Dominy Clements

Yes, that's it. Now try and squeeeeeeeze...

I beg your pardon, squeeeeeze? Why on earth should I want to do that?

It's so you can manifest. Come on, you just need to try harder, now squeee...

Ah, erm, no -- just hang on a minute. I didn't want to squeeeeze to start with, what's all this about being able to manifest?

Oh for goodness sake, for a start, I'm doing this as a favour, and in addition, I don't think you realise quite what a privileged position this is, what kind of an opportunity you're being given. But no, it's always with the questions and the arguing...

I don't want to be awkward, really, I'm just trying to find out what this is all about -- I've really no idea what it is you're talking about. How about you humour me and do a little intro -- you know, just take a moment for some back story and context. I'm sure you'll find me perfectly willing to help out with anything reasonable.

Well, really... the things... [frustrated sigh] Very well then. It's really very simple -- you are about to die. Everyone capable of so doing in extremis has one chance to manifest to whomsoever they choose, wherever they believe them to be at that particular moment.

Oh. About to die you say?

Yes. [irritably] The circumstances -- before you start asking -- are irrelevant; just take my word for it.

Ah, well, I think I have a right to know...

I said, irrelevant. You're as good as dead already and once you are absolutely and literally nothing at all will be your concern -- including the manner of your demise. Just get used to that idea and then we can get on.

Oh. This is all, rather, erm ...

Sudden, unexpected, incredible? Take your pick. All irrelevant. Now, do you want to manifest or not -- last chance.

Erm ... [reluctantly] I suppose so.

Right. So, go with your instinct on this one. Who is the one person you want to have one last glimpse of you? Can be anyone -- someone you love, or even someone you hate and want to scare the living daylights out of. You don't have to tell me who it is, just make your mind up and be quick about it. Have you done that?

[nods meekly]

Now -- your best guess as to where they will be right now, and ...

This is all a bit hit and miss, isn't it?

[hrrmph] ... What, exactly, did you expect?

Not this for a start, but in any case the chances of my manifesting in the right place at the right time are pretty slim as far as I can tell.

That's right. Why do you think there are so few reports of manifestations like this? For a start there's your privileged position -- think of all those poor people who die peacefully in their sleep or are otherwise unconscious or mentally incapacitated: they don't have this kind of opportunity. Then there are all those souls who manifest into a completely empty room, or where the person is facing the wrong way and sees nothing. Then there are those crowded places where nobody notices, or if they do they don't know who you are and just ignore you.

So, what's the point.

There's no point [exasperated], but it has to be worth a try doesn't it? Now, come on ...

... but I mean, do I get to see them as well?

No. You'll have no idea if they've seen you, and you won't even know if it has worked.

So, there really is no point.

If you want to look at it so negatively then yes, once again, from your point of view there is indeed no point, other than knowing that that you at least made the effort. So ..?

So, what do you get out of it?

Me?

Yes. If there's nothing really in it for me or anyone else trying to manifest, then why do you bother?

You want the honest answer? Then to tell the truth it's just my little amusing hobby. If you'd been here for an eternity you'd have come up with something like it as well. With my omniscience I get to see nearly dead souls screwing themselves up to squeeeeeze, and see the chaos and confusion on the other side on the rare occasion it all comes together. So now you know. Happy?

No. Quite frankly I'm appalled.

So I take it you're not going to squeeeeeze?

Not this time -- you blew it.

Fair enough -- your choice. See that white light over there? Just move towards it -- in your own time.

Next, please ...