Dueling Banjos

Stand up and be counted
Or sit down and shut the fuck up
"He got a real pretty mouth, ain't he?"

We're being led astray by a dog that cannot wag its tail and chew gum at the same time
Follow the white haired Jew screaming about a revolution because that's the only way out from all this austere gluttony and neo liberal syphoning off of the working poor
Not only are there no free lunches, free range chickens in every pot is just another old wives tale and organic is no healthier than if you cannibalized your next door neighbor

Stand down and resist the temptation to overthrow the government because absolute power corrupts absolutely and next time you ask about pardons take a good long look in the mirror and try to come to terms with how much of a loser you are
Falling in love with your image or falling in love with money are the same thing and neither one will make a lick of difference when you're shitting in a diaper and cannot even remember the sound of your own name
I get that you suffer from terminal low self-esteem, but that's still no excuse for putting a gun to the head of America and making us suck your flea dick