Advanced Auto Safety Systems

She said
with pride.
"I got a
new ride."

I said
With glee.
"Can I
sit inside?"

She said.
"If you
keep your
hands to
Yourself."

The leather
seat was
fine as wine.

On a new
car high, I
"accidentally"
touch
her knee.

There is
a buzz,
a beep,
a flashing
message, on
the screen,
"You are
departing
your lane."

I said.
"Me? Are
you talkin'
to me?"

The screen
flashed a
black
and red
"Yes."

Unfazed. I
touch her
thigh. And get
a shock in
my well
seated ass.

"OUCH! What
was that?"

"Blind spot
warning."
she replies.

Recklessly
I massage
her bottom.

Instantly,
my
seat belt
straps
my
arms to
my sides.

"Rear Collision
Warning"
She remarks.

I cry,
"Let me out."

Free from
my seat belt,
I reach for
her breasts.

My seat
Jumps forward,
slams me
into the
windshield.

"Forward-collision
Assistance,"
She sneers.

I flee
to the
safety
of my
ten-year-old
hooptie.