Badass

Has a bad case of the shorts
if you know what I mean ...
short-changed, short-sighted, surly aggressive short guy.

Has an opinion about everything.
Is a life-member of the mansplaining club,
most likely a Proud Boy too.

Badass has multiple Facebook pages, Instagram,
Twitter accounts, website w/blog and YouTube links.
Promotes his profound manhood, boy obsessions.

Shows off his guns, drums, and latest prey -- usually
a catch and release largemouth bass --
all undercover as "writer."

Badass delivers his decrees, videos his diatribes as if he were
the finger of God, posts his daily exercise routines
from Sunday squats to 3-mile jogs -- a real Rocky Balboa.

Badass knows it all and is, of course, a real pussy magnet,
so he thinks, with enough wails and whines about women
to send any good orgasm packing.

Badass is always the victim,
put upon by government, employers, rules of any kind,
wives, girlfriends, Alexa, but mostly other men with balls.

Badass thinks he's funny,
sucker punches for fun, then says lighten up,
get a sense of humor.

Badass is self-sabotage, ruined marriages,
failed affairs, and barfights.
Badass figures best to pre-empt the diss before he's fingered --

just another frustrated middle-aged white guy constipated
with gripes and grievances, haunted by mediocrity,
erasure, lost love.

Blog on, blog on, mighty man. Blog on.