"Out there, the longed-for westerly winds had to exist! Andrés de Urdaneta, of course, could not have known the reasons for the birth of the winds, of the great masses of moving air..."
Urdaneta, Scientist? | Federico Baeza Fernández de Rota"A few years ago, my interest in aquariums led me to decorate my beauty salon with fish of different colors. Now that the salon has become a place where those who have nowhere else to go come to end their days, it is very hard for me to see how, little by little, the fish have been disappearing."
Beauty Salon | Mario Bellatin
For Rafael Villegas
My sailors' gums swelled. The teeth, imprisoned by this inflamed flesh an inch thick, fell like withered leaves. Their mouths filled with sores and blood clots. Some others exhibited a debilitating dry cough, sneezes full of phlegm, and emissions of thick, foul-smelling milky drool. Dark welts and yellow pustules emerged all over their skin, lacerated and peeling from the relentless heat. Fevers that turned the sick delirious in that barren high sea. Meanwhile, day after day, we cast our nets into the depths of the sea without catching anything, not even a piece of algae. Such is the nature of Panthalassa, the ocean of a thousand horizons where we now find ourselves aimlessly sailing, far from any coast. It is a watery desert. There is no wind. Absolute stillness.
We are in these waters because there is nothing left of the sea creatures in our land, especially the fish. They disappeared, and with them, the rains also vanished, and the drought reached us in no time. Exploring the interior of the great single continent, Pangaea, was something we did many times, with disastrous results, so attempting more journeys across this hostile continent would mean suicide and the absolute end of our people. Thus, we decided to explore other alternatives: to go west.
I was on board the Nao, inspecting, and I approached the master Yn-On-Koepán, who was carefully examining one of the nautical maps while his gaze was fixed on the ocean from the ship's helm. He had a compass open, its points on the paper. He measured distances with the compass and held a pencil in his other hand for making notes. Beside him, on the edge of one of the railings facing the waters, were two emaciated sailors following his orders. One held an hourglass while the second man pulled a long knotted rope whose end was submerged in the sea currents. The man with the knotted rope spoke to the one with the hourglass, who relayed the information to master Yn-On-Koepán. They were calculating the Nao's speed. I watched them repeat this procedure about five times. I noticed in the way they arched their eyebrows and their pale faces that the information obtained was not encouraging at all:
"How many knots?" master Yn-On-Koepán asked the man with the rope.
"None," he replied, in a raspy voice, as he touched the knots with his fingers, examining them carefully.
Seeing me, the men made a slight bow. Their hands trembled, and their gazes were heavy with sadness. Master Yn-On-Koepán gestured for them to leave with the hourglass and the knotted rope. Shortly, the two men left the bridge, leaving master Yn-On-Koepán and me alone.
"We're still stranded, captain," he said, with a piece of cloth tied around his forehead that, due to sweat and grime, was yellow and crusty but served to protect his forehead from peeling caused by sunburn. "You heard him. Nothing at all. We've been in the same spot for over a month. Panthalassa has been unmerciful to us all. It's bigger than we could have imagined. If things continue like this, I wouldn't be surprised if we circled the world and kept finding waters."
I looked at the map and the compass. Then I turned to Yn-On-Koepán, who showed a serious look and an eagerness for a response from me. Thoughtful, I gazed at the waters of Panthalassa, the sailors, and the extended sails of the Nao that had not moved for several weeks. I bit my lips, closed my eyes, and felt overwhelmed by all these images. I gripped my sword tightly, remembering the day of the mutiny and how I had to use the iron against the rebellious sailors. I recalled their faces, dead by my hand, and then their bodies thrown into the waters in a silent ceremony meant to forget the whole matter.
"What can we do in this case? We've done everything possible," I asked, moving closer to the map.
"You are the captain," Yn-On-Koepán replied, unconvinced by my response. "You command, and we obey." I noticed hesitation in his voice, also a tone of complaint and evident resentment in his eyes, sunk into deep circles.
I exhaled heavily.
"Last week was the latest mutiny, the worst of all," Lieutenant Yn-On-Koepán continued. "A month ago, the other Naos abandoned the convoy, intending to return to the continent. Who knows if they succeeded. Apart from the suicides and diseases that have arisen throughout our journey, we have everything against us."
"Tell me, Yn-On-Koepán, what would you do? Rather, what do you want to do? Tell me with all honesty," I asked sharply.
Yn-On-Koepán looked at me confused, hesitating, until, coming closer to me and in a very low voice, he said: "We must return, captain. We are dying, all because of this idea of circumnavigating the world across the ocean of Panthalassa. If I were you, I would listen to the will of the sailors. Believe me, I too am beginning to think of taking control of the Nao..."
"Would you be capable of participating in a mutiny?" I exclaimed, indignant. I took a step back.
"What would you do in my situation? We have followed your orders here and there, in Pangaea, without results. We are tired and fed up," he said.
I closed my eyes tightly, breathed, feeling the air was very heavy, and put my hands on my forehead. I was in the middle of a dilemma. Continuing with the mission was already suicide, and at the same time, complying with the sailors' will, that is, returning to the continent, was also a mortal folly.
"Yn-On-Koepán, be sensible," I said sharply. "Look at us all. Rachitic, without food. What do you suggest? Use the oars and thus forcibly steer the ship to Pangaea? Is that what you want, to make these sailors galley slaves? Do you really believe that, in this state, we can row and row, moving this heavy mass for hundreds of miles without dying of exhaustion?"
It was reasonable, of course, to return the Nao to our starting point; any captain in their right mind would have done that, and it didn't take a genius or sage to reach such conclusions. Turning the Nao's direction back towards the coast, seeking the route to Oaxaquia, and finding one of the main ports of the habitable coast of Pangaea; coastal cities like Chacala, Acapulco, Huatulco, or Acaxutla. But without the wind, such plans were mere ideas, nonsense, stupidity, delirium. Besides, without provisions...
"Captain, if you told them we were returning to Pangaea, they would do anything to achieve it, even row," he said. "Illusion can move mountains, even invoke mysterious forces from fatigued flesh..."
"Look at what"s in front of you, master Yn-On-Koepán. Look closely! Look at yourself..." I interrupted, pointing to the exhausted crew.
"Think, Captain, think that we ended up like this because of you..."he said, with resentment and melancholy "Now, to survive, we drink our own shame. But we won't survive much longer this way..."
When provisions ran out days ago, we desperately resorted to drinking our own urine. It contained the same nutrients as our meager diet and allowed us to keep our needs at bay for a while. It was like eating and drinking twice, as one of the sailors said. Initially, this practice was repugnant due to the intense smell of urea and its strong taste on the palate, but the desperation to live was more intense and unstoppable, imposing itself over any shame. Each time I urinated to recover liquids and quench my thirst, the appearance of the bodily fluid grew darker. From clear as water, it turned yellow, then orange; in some cases, the worst cases, it was red or black.
I assumed, given these desolate circumstances, that I would most likely die in the midst of the unknown waters of the Great Ocean of Panthalassa alongside the other crew members. No one had explored beyond three thousand leagues and managed to decipher its secrets. There had been previous expeditions to traverse its currents, but they all failed. Expeditions that, by the way, never returned and were thought to have disappeared or been destroyed by its harshness. Perhaps everything beyond the continent's limits was just water, the entire southern hemisphere and other parts of the globe. A world of water, an endless ocean.
Yn-On-Koepán, his face full of wrinkles and his voice broken, took the map and pointed out several spots on the continent of Pangaea with the compass, places we had already been on previous voyages, all failed, resounding failures. The map showed, on one side, an expanse of pure water, that is, the Panthalassa Ocean to the west. Meanwhile, the other half was all continental land. There were mountain ranges, deserts, canyons, and vast stretches of land.
He spoke to me in a raspy voice:
"In the northeast passage, where there are thousands of volcanic islets, he poisoned the crews of the twenty Naos of that expedition; then the tragic subsequent journeys, on foot through the Ural and Appalachian Mountains, impassable in every sense and where the earth burns with sulfur, lava, and ominous death as far as the eye can see," he said, tracing the compass point across the map in a series of mountain ranges that culminated in a great wall of mountains at the easternmost end. I followed his gaze, listening intently.
"In those mountains, we found the bone remains of ancient fauna, specimens of unheard-of morphology. Remember, Captain, the remains of skeletons belonging to the giant lizards, with prominent jaws and teeth that, if the creature were alive, would surely have torn us apart in a single strike. And on the back of that creature, a large number of elongated vertebrae like ship masts, together making something akin to a sail. What did the ancient stories call it?"
"Dimetrodon... that's how it was baptized in the ancient villages in their myths," I replied, disheartened. "The Dimetrodons, alongside other animals of great stature, magnificent in their limbs, their claws, their skins, and their hunting abilities, all of them, are extinct…"
"Indeed, Captain. That's what we found when we went overland. Bones among the dunes; petrified remnants of tree trunks. We found forests, jungles, all dead, turned to stone. We also discovered a lake turned into a salt flat. What good is a ghostly lake?" said Yn-On-Koepán, crying with anger. "And in the distance, Captain, in the distance; on the peaks of the Appalachians, those cursed peaks, where we climbed at your orders, which we gladly obeyed, we saw valleys flooded with glowing lava. And further still, the gaze beheld the Urals. Only mountain walls whose peaks rose so high as to block out the sun. There is only darkness there."
"Enough!" I reprimanded, seizing the map abruptly and bringing it under my control. "Yes, yes, yes, Master Yn-On-Koepán, your melancholic and sentimental account is very precise, but it overlooks an important aspect. When we encountered that impenetrable wall of the Appalachians, there were monsoons of lava and fire, raging in all directions, burning everything, turning the desert sand, upon contact with the rain of its violent eruptions, into a lake of incandescent glass, trapping the most unfortunate explorers, consumed in a blaze of agonizing screams. There we stood, unable to take another step. We stared for a long time at the lava traps, and they made us reconsider. We all concluded... listen well... we all concluded that it was impossible to proceed overland. Where else could we go? Where else could we turn?"
Master Yn-On-Koepán said nothing. I pointed to the sea with my sword.
"The interior of the ocean was the final answer," I said. "The one and only possible route to fertile lands. You and the others agreed! Don't be hypocritical, Yn-On-Koepán! You too are responsible for us being here, amidst this hell of water! Would you prefer we descended from the mountains to walk amidst lava and incandescent glass? Is it a better fate to walk across a continent where lava rains down, embers scorch the skin upon contact? Are you mad?"
Yn-On-Koepán said nothing, just stared at me with a dumb expression and tightly pursed lips, refusing to meet my gaze. I forcefully jabbed the compass into the paper, piercing it and pointing to the blank expanse of the Panthalassa Ocean.
"Now we are here and we won't return to the continent until this mission is fulfilled!" I growled. "You were enthusiastic at the start, and now you want to go back, cowards! You're all cowards!" I felt like I was going to faint from saying those words and feared the others might hear me. If there was one thing more terrible than all this, it was to wound the little pride left in the sailors. Without their support, I was alone, disadvantaged, defenseless. I felt like I was rambling. Maybe it was the sun, or hunger, or all these things together.
I took a deep breath, trying to regain my composure.
"We know the Earth is spherical, not infinite. There must surely be a passage to the other side. The sea is the answer, Yn-On-Koepán; the damn ocean is the way! We just have to hold on a little longer, for heaven's sake! There must be a current that will take us to shores where there are forests, jungles, meadows, waters teeming with animals, and the possibility of rescuing our race from extinction. When water heats up, it turns into vapor and precipitates. That's how rain is made, from heat. This world is vast, so there must be somewhere that vapor falls as rain and forests, jungles, and swamps grow, with animals and fruits."
"We won't hold on," he said. "The urine will kill us in a few days. It poisons the body, you know it well. We must return now…"
Silence between us.
"Continue with your calculations, Yn-On-Koepán, and don't meddle in my affairs anymore," I cut off the conversation, handing the map and compass to Yn-On-Koepán abruptly.
I walked the deck with my sword, watching the sailors in their pitiful state. I saw officers dressed in rags, moving clumsily. It pained and saddened me to see their famished, skeletal bodies. Some couldn't stand, toothless, with thin arms covered by a thin layer of skin. It wasn't unusual to see eyes staring into nothingness, into infinity. Mouths agape in an inhuman expression, eyes turning red from contact with the air. Others breathed with difficulty, as the air felt like a hot, dense mass.
Many times I thought, driven by the extremes of my imagination and my fears of imminent death, that due to the unrelenting sun and the relentless rise in temperatures, the air itself would ignite, inflaming into a mass of burning lava, killing us all.
With resignation, I assumed, after long and desperate deliberations, that this would be the moment to leave this world, to say goodbye to the sensations of reality and all hope. I bitterly thought of our homeland and the people left behind, eagerly waiting to hear from us. I felt guilt and much anger imagining that our death at sea might mean the end of all those people. I wondered what was happening there; I imagined the priests giving their usual sermons, the fathers with their children, the mothers searching for food on the land, among the rocks, in the trash; all of them talking every hour of the day about our return. I thought of those people, eternally on the edge of the coast, tirelessly looking towards the horizon of the sea, searching for the ship's flags, the sails, the shape of the ships appearing over the curvature of the Earth, growing larger and larger until they reached the port, dropping anchor and welcoming the travelers who brought good news.
What an end, I thought, while pondering this chimera.
Then, in the midst of this mental elegy, I heard a splash in the water, as if something had fallen, then I seemed to see a splash. A white foam, and after this, the expansion of circular ripples.
"But what was that?" I said to myself, noticing the disturbance in the water.
I rushed to the ship's railing, in the direction of the splash. I bent over to see the cause of the water's movement.
"Who was it? Who jumped into the sea?" I exclaimed furiously at my sailors. Was it another suicide? Perhaps a man jumping into the ocean to drown.
The sailors only turned their gaze to me without saying anything.
"Is no one going to tell me something?" I shouted, furious. "Someone jumped overboard! I already told you, no one can leave the mission!" I shouted again.
"Count us, Captain, and you'll see we are all here," said one of the sailors, lying on the wooden floor, looking at me angrily.
"He's already raving from the heat," said another, bitterly. "Just what we needed, a captain with delusions…"
"What did you say?" I spat, brandishing my sword in the air, at which the sailors fell silent and scattered toward the main mast of the ship, protecting each other.
Now standing, the sailors' eyes exuded fear and much confusion.
"Captain, please, don't do anything rash," said one of them, in a pitiful tone. "Take account of us. No one has jumped into the sea."
"Then... then tell me what was that, that splash in the water!" I shouted, more furious than before.
Were they trying to fool me, confuse me, and take control of the ship? Do they think they're smarter than me? Damn traitors, they'll see! I thought, circling the sailors with my sword extended in my arm. None of them dared to make any movement, and the panic on their faces was noticeable. Surely they feared that in any skirmish I would have no choice but to brandish the steel against them as I did with past mutinies.
"I saw the water move!" I shouted.
"Well, I didn't see anything, Captain," replied one of the sailors, hugging the mast.
Others said nothing but responded by nodding timidly to make me understand that I was wrong.
Another splash was heard.
"There it is!" I shouted, heading toward the noise at the other end of the ship, toward the bow. "Did you hear it, did you hear it?"
I ran as fast as I could, using the sword as a cane and leaning on the railing. Again, I saw in the water a large wave created by something that, without a doubt, was a falling body. A body, but from where did it fall?
I looked up in all directions, at the deck, at the masts, but I saw nothing.
"Again, someone has jumped right under my nose!" I exclaimed, turning this time to the crowd of sailors, terrified by my voice and my aggressive gestures.
"Captain, please, I beg you, count us one by one...!" said one, but I kicked him. The kick landed on his knees, causing him to writhe in pain.
"Silence!" I shouted, angrier than ever. "Another man has jumped, and you are making me believe I am a fool! You are complicit in this! You are deserting, jumping until no one is left! You will leave me alone! You will leave me alone!"
Another sound, louder. I felt something hit the wood of the bow hard. This time the sailors heard it, looked at me, and we all ran towards the bow together.
"Another person has jumped, another sailor has jumped!" I was shouting, raging.
"This time we heard it, Captain, but we insist that none of us have jumped, please calm down…!" said the sailor, then he started counting the crew himself. "There are twenty-five people on board. One, two, three, four, five…"
I was about to reprimand him for being sarcastic in these circumstances, but another noise occurred. It sounded like something massive falling into the water, and after this, the thud was repeated, but now on the deck. I felt it a few feet behind me and imagined, from the nature of the sound, that someone had hidden at the top of the mast, then jumped. A death by fall.
The sailors were no longer looking at me, but at something behind me. Their eyes were all wide with astonishment, and in their bodies, I could see the posture and tremor of someone who has seen the deepest horrors.
Had the sailor's body shattered on impact? Did his head burst? Did his entrails explode? Was everything splattered with guts, bones, and disfigured skin? Is that why my sailors' unintelligible expression, now silent, astonished? Maybe now they regretted killing each other, seeing that bloody image; imagining jumping from a great height, feeling the heart beating until almost exploding, and then, in an instant, experiencing how all the Earth crushes each organ until pulverizing it.
At that moment, I decided to turn around. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, preparing to see the disfigured body behind me. One deep breath, two deep breaths, three deep breaths. Then I opened my eyes…
There it was. I saw it clearly. Silver, large, vigorous, with its scales reflecting the sunlight, like small mirrors attached to the flesh of its anatomy, its mouth with thick and wide lips, its fins moving in repetitive spasms, and its huge and black eyes like large obsidian stones.
"That is… is… is… a fish…" I whispered, unable to believe what was in front of me.
"A fish…" the others repeated, in a low voice, with the same nature of a prayer said during a great storm.
The creature, huge, larger than a human, was wobbling on the wooden deck. It opened its mouth repeatedly, and its eyes were turning, spinning between each spasm.
"Then... that's what I saw…" I whispered, approaching the animal. I extended the tip of my sword to touch it and felt the volume of the creature.
I don't know why, when I met its eyes, I was paralyzed. In the shine of the animal's pupils, I saw my reflection. I felt a strange and unknown attraction to those eyes, like a hypnotic force. The pupils seemed to me more like a window to another place where something or someone was watching me attentively. It was strange. There was a fish, but at the same time, I felt there was something else in that place. Then with my hand, I touched its scales and immediately withdrew my hand, scared.
"It's real, it's real, it's real!" I shouted, stepping back to my men. They received me also scared by the appearance. "The fish is real! I touched it, and it's real, guys! It's something real, real, real!" I sobbed.
"How did it get here?" another asked, scared.
Another splash, in the back. And then another.
There were five, six, ten, twenty…
Then, we witnessed how other fish of the same size jumped out of the water and ended up on the deck.
This was just the beginning.
"Fish, fish, there are fish here, there are fish!" the sailors said, approaching the animals, examining them, and showing disbelief by touching their wet bodies.
More appeared. They broke the silence of the ocean. Jumping, some falling on the deck and others managing to fly through the air across the entire length of the deck to end up back in the waters on the other side. They were all very excited and were bursting from everywhere. Many of these animals hit us with the slaps of their tails and fins.
"It's raining fish!…" one shouted.
"Well, what are we waiting for, let's eat them, let's eat them!" exclaimed another, in a festive shout.
With regained energy, perhaps by a chance of inspiration, they pounced on the creatures with their silver bodies and began to eat them raw. Others took their knives and opened the bellies of the fish, extracting their livers and voraciously chewing them. I knew beforehand, from my experience in Xalisco years before, that a source of water was in the liver of fish and sharks. Sailors used to hydrate in this way when there was good fishing, so it was a natural and sensible action to extract these organs. My men continued devouring the raw flesh of fish of such varied sizes and shapes. The hunger was terrible, so I did not judge them for this attitude that, in calmer times, someone could judge as savagery. Better that than killing each other in suicide or a mutiny.
Meanwhile, the saltwater splashed us, and we ended up soaked from head to toe. A joy invaded me, as well as my sailors because when I felt the water, I did not perceive it as hot, but cold. Large puddles formed on the floorboards, and for a moment, I thought the fish were creating their little ocean on our ship and that sooner or later they would sink us towards the depths of the high seas. Some of my men threw themselves on the floor to roll in the puddles. Others let themselves be bathed by the large splashes, extending their arms and showing a big smile full of ecstasy. As for me, I felt the cold water revitalizing my skin and the rest of my body. There were laughs and joyful shouts.
The ocean water, so agitated by the tumult of the fish, took on the appearance of boiling, though of course, it was cold. A great foam was generated, and the creatures' thrashing tails produced strong waves that rocked the ship with great force. And the noise of this bubbling life was thunderous. I had never heard such a racket. Not even in the greatest marine storms during my previous expeditions in the vast continent of southern Pangea while searching for new ports and nations not yet charted on nautical maps.
I approached the railings, and in the sea, I could also distinguish, amidst the swimming creatures, the appearance of many green algae, rising and falling towards the surface like enormous dark spots. It was then that I knew the waters where we were were fertile. I ordered several of my sailors to urgently bring nets to capture the algae and eat them to extract good rations of water, as this was another method of hydration. Thus, with several sailors, immersed in great excitement, we repeatedly threw the nets into the waters and brought up a large load of algae very similar to sargassum and other enormous algae I never imagined existed. They were all green and vigorous, and some had large fronds the size of a person. Others had huge balls, like spheres, and others were slimy.
"These algae look more like enormous marine trees!" one of the men shouted, examining one of the leaves, which was the size of a person, with consternation.
"If this thing is only a leaf, down here there must be a whole forest made of colossal algae, marine forests!" shouted another, sinking his teeth into the stalk of the algae, then sucking its water.
"Drink while you can!" I shouted. "This is a blessing, a miracle! Take all you can, fish and algae! Strength will return to our bodies and souls! This is a sign that we are on the right path! We are on a good wind! I told you, the sea is the way! It is the way!"
The fish episode lasted several hours, and almost at sunset, when the sky ceased to be blue and began to transform into a transition of yellows, oranges, and bloody reds, the school of fish levitated several meters above the water. I don"t know if they had so much strength in their swim that they ignored the laws that govern Nature, as was known about flying fish, long gone from our land but once very abundant, but the truth is that from swimming in the water, they began to jump very high, higher than I had ever seen.
"Look at that fish, what a great leap it made!" exclaimed Master Yn-On-Koepán, approaching where I was, and pointing to a large blue fish that emerged from the water and at that moment was about twenty feet above us. "How high these fish jump!"
"Impressive, Master Yn-On-Koepán, truly impressive!" I responded, astonished, watching the fish reach the top of the mast, where the flag of the Nao was. "It should fall now, a long drop! Where do they get so much energy to make such long jumps?"
I could see that the fish didn't fall but continued its trajectory in the air without interruption. It flapped its fins in the air as it did in the water.
"This fish is flying, Master Yn-On-Koepán, it's flying!" I exclaimed, unable to believe what my eyes were seeing.
"There goes another one!" Master Yn-On-Koepán told me, pointing to another large fish that leaped from the waters and made several loops around the Nao like a bird.
More flying fish emerged from the waters, forming an enormous levitating congregation that began to spin rapidly. The force of their spin sucked up the ocean water, and soon this very water encapsulated them inside a huge bubble where they continued swimming with the same unstoppable energy, circling over and over, perhaps in a perpetual trance. This scene reminded me of the prayers of some Pangean sages, who recited their mantras while spinning their bodies, immersed in an ecstasy that separated them from the senses of the world. I thought that perhaps these fish, in their mysterious nature, were also reciting prayers unknown to humans. With these movements appeared more algae, coloring the animated currents with a spectacle of silver and green, red, blue, and yellow. Mantras, prayers, and swimming following a mysterious choreography whose music was known only to Nature.
I watched all this with my sailors from a distance, in that extravagant high sea so far from any coast. They, on the ship, had already taken out some pots, fire, and spices stored in our provisions to prepare the captured fish. I joined them and for the first time in so many days, I savored the food along with the waters from the fronds of the algae. Biting into the slimy green of the sargassum was like receiving the breath of life. My mouth, in an uncontrollable instinct, bit and sucked the pulp, making every particle of water its own. The same with the roasted fish that was more than a meal, a sacred ritual to resurrect us. Some of the sailors prepared the fish in the manner of the coastal peoples of Xalisco, over coals, like a grilled and jerked fish. Others boiled the fish in salt water to make broths and soups. In short, everyone made with the fish, that gift from the ocean, the most appropriate to quench the dagger of starvation. Observing the decapitated heads of the fish, I once again felt the strangeness in their eyes. Their blackness enveloped me for a moment in the sensation of being watched. I assumed that having been so hungry and on the verge of delirium made me feel things like that, like a dizziness. Although it only happened to me when looking into the eyes of those fish.
I returned my thoughts to the miracle of this appearance, that this was a great sign, perhaps coming from heaven itself, telling us there was hope for our nation suffering so much from droughts and diseases. Some of my men kept the bones and skulls of the fish as a souvenir, as a kind of good luck charm or even a miraculous relic, for these animals saved our lives.
Meanwhile, during the feast, the levitating fish sphere remained suspended, I believe about sixty feet in the air, and stayed there for several hours, while other fish kept jumping everywhere, as if wanting to join their companions. With each new fish in the sphere, it became larger as did its force. They kept swimming and swimming, showing no signs of fatigue. Fish everywhere, as far as our eyes could see.
It was then that we noticed a shadow forming. The sun became dim and the air much cooler.
"Where has this shadow come from?" asked Master Yn-On-Koepán, chewing a grilled fish and looking around.
The other sailors also turned. The shadow grew larger, and we discovered a cloud approaching. It was white and heading toward the fish sphere.
"A cloud, a cloud!" we all shouted, incredulous.
"There, look, there's another cloud!" pointed a sailor to the south, and we saw, indeed, another much larger cloud heading toward us.
In a few minutes, the sky filled with more clouds, and they began to spin around the fish sphere. Watching it was like contemplating a planet, a small world within our own.
Then, amidst the feast and anticipation, cold gusts of wind appeared. We heard the sails move, and turning now, we saw them extended, in the direction of the blow. The Nao swayed and shook us all.
"It can't be, Captain!" said Master Yn-On-Koepán, running to the railings. "It can't be, comrades! The Nao is moving! We're moving!"
At that moment, we all got up and went to where Master Yn-On-Koepán was to check what he was saying.
"We're moving, Captain! The fish are moving us!" observed Master Yn-On-Koepán, swollen with joy.
"Can it be?" I asked, stunned. "Once again, destiny shows us that this is the way! It is the way!"
"Yes, Captain, you were right, you were right! We"re moving westward!" shouted Master Yn-On-Koepán.
"Hooray, hooray, hooray!" some shouted.
Amazed and uttering prayers, supplications, and thanksgivings, our Nao headed towards the vortex of the fish. The clouds generated by the vortex's swirl gathered into a cluster, and thunder began to rumble, and rain started to fall.
Blessed storm! Blessed water! Pure water! Saltless water! Water to drink and quench all the traces of thirst!
We opened our mouths to drink the nectar of the heights, and for the first time in so long, we tasted the clean, immaculate water of the rain. Everyone showed joy, dancing, singing, taking their fish bone amulets to thank the gods for such a pleasant gift.
The cold water produced in me a strange momentary trance where I stopped perceiving my entire body and stopped seeing myself as an individual. For a moment, I felt, I became rain, I became wind, and in every drop, there was something calling me towards the storm. In that trance or ecstasy, my notion of being human disappeared. It was like feeling that all the blood in my veins, my muscles, and bones, wanted to join the dance of the drops, ascend to the sky to become a cloud. What a strange vision…
"Captain, Captain, we'll measure the speed of the Nao, you'll surely want to be present!" interrupted Master Yn-On-Koepán, pulling me out of my trance. "Come with us to the edge of the Nao to see the results!" he said, inviting me.
Still with the image of the trance from which I was pulled out, I went to where Master Yn-On-Koepán was, and there were his assistants on the bridge with the clock, knots, and map.
"Now!" ordered Master Yn-On-Koepán. "Throw the lead!"
The man holding the rope with knots threw it. I watched the knots pass through his fingers.
"You, hold the hourglass!" said Master Yn-On-Koepán to the other man.
The men called out the figures to Master Yn-On-Koepán, and I couldn"t believe it.
"Ten knots... twenty knots... thirty knots... forty knots... seventy knots!"
And meanwhile, waves here, waves there.
The marvel lasted several days. During that journey, the sky was gray and full of storm clouds until the powerful storm of fish disintegrated, and the creatures returned to the waters to disappear into the depths of the ocean. With that, the clouds above us also dispersed, and the rain ceased, revealing a calm landscape with fresh air. In the distance, we then saw small gray dots floating on the water.
"What could that be?" I murmured. "I need a spyglass, immediately, immediately!" I ordered.
One of the sailors approached me and handed me the instrument. I placed the eyepiece over my right eye and aimed towards the western horizon. Behind me, all the men on board gathered, expectant of my observations. They murmured anxiously.
"What could the captain be seeing?" they said.
"Shhhhhhhhh!" hushed Master Yn-On-Koepán. "The captain needs concentration, we must be silent."
I kept aiming the spyglass towards the horizon and distinguished the gray and white shapes on the water. As the ship advanced, those shapes became more defined and numerous.
"Master Yn-On-Koepán, I need a second opinion," I said, handing him the spyglass. He looked at me astonished, took my place, and looked through the spyglass.
I turned my back, looking at my crew and seeing their faces filled with fear. No one said anything, and this increased the tension on board.
"It's confirmed, captain," Master Yn-On-Koepán whispered to me, handing back the spyglass. "It is what you suspect."
"I'll look again," I said, taking the spyglass to look for a few more minutes. The things on the horizon became larger.
"Yes, I think it is," I said.
"Then it's time to announce it, captain," said Master Yn-On-Koepán.
"Sailors, I am pleased to announce that land is in sight…" I said solemnly.
"Land in sight, land in sight!" exclaimed all the crew members, euphoric, as they kissed their fish bone amulets and uttered prayers and thanks. The ship erupted in celebration, and many approached me to congratulate me.
After those small rocky islands, we saw mountains and what appeared to be a pair of ships.
"It can't be, lads!" I exclaimed, amazed, after seeing through the spyglass a ship with sails on the horizon. "If I'm not mistaken, we have reached the other side of the world! There are other peoples and nations on Earth!"
The long-awaited exchange of two worlds was finally possible, and with it, the salvation of my nation.
Within Oaxaquia, which was our continent, united with the other landmasses of the great Pangea, it wasn't necessary to travel far through the Ural and Appalachian mountain ranges to suddenly find oneself in an impenetrable desert, where temperatures evaporate sweat and where only small elusive animals and plants that grew underground, hidden from all predators, lived. The deserts in my nation expanded alongside the birth of volcanoes in Oaxaquia and in our homeland Xalisco, especially the Ceboruco volcano, which covered our crops with ash and forced us to migrate to the coasts of Aticama, where we ended up depleting all marine life, from the variously sized placoderms, through the cartilaginous sharks like hybodus, to the ammonites and trilobites so common in that fauna, and not to mention some of the marine reptiles.
What food would we bring from these new lands? How would we thank the inhabitants of these places? How would we communicate to show our gratitude? I thought about all this, overwhelmed by emotion, as everything indicated that the plans were going perfectly, even exceeding expectations.
We approached the coast, and the pair of ships, as large as ours, came alongside us. Someone on board said something I couldn't understand. Then, the ship boarded us. A tall man, who appeared to be the captain, dressed in garments made of a material I had never seen before, resembling a shiny and seemingly soft fabric like velvet, gestured with his hands towards the horizon, the waters, and after seeing the fish amulet of one of my crew members, made a violent gesture with his hand that caused the crew of the visiting ship to subdue and arrest us with iron cuffs.
"But what's happening, captain?" said Master Yn-On-Koepán, struggling with the men who were capturing him.
"Calm down, calm down!" I said. "It's better to cooperate than to create a conflict. Remember, we are here on a diplomatic mission, for an exchange of food. Perhaps we've been misunderstood. On land, we can clear things up. Wouldn't we do the same with strangers who came to our shores?"
My tone and arguments seemed to calm several of my crew members.
Thus, we were taken to the strange ship. Meanwhile, other men from those new lands took control of my ship to tie it and tow it to the port. During the journey to the coast, I looked at my men and wondered about all the possible things that could happen. Would they present us to their ruler? Would there be someone who could understand us? I knew nothing, only conjectures.
After hours, we arrived at land, to a port with picturesque architecture and adorned with many people who looked at us curiously. Our presence caused quite a sensation, I could tell.
From the streets, we passed into a great palace. Inside, there was a large gathering of people, a grand golden throne, and behind it, a large mural with a meticulously drawn map. Broadly, the map before us showed to the right a large C-shaped gulf that extended from the north to the south, and everything else was a great blue expanse. In the middle of that great C of continental masses, right in the center, was a chain of archipelagos with many letters. To the west of the map, I saw a range of mountains and beyond them what seemed to be a representation of a vast desert.
But soon, I had to leave those thoughts and reflections aside, as some people arrived who were clearly of great importance. A man with a large hat of silver feathers, tall with a serious look, appeared alongside a hooded old woman who eyed us warily. The man, who I assumed was the ruler due to his imposing appearance, ceremonially sat on the throne while the woman remained standing.
What followed were conversations in an unintelligible language where the only words I could understand were Ya Zhou and the gestures of one of the soldiers showing the ruler the fish bone amulets. I wondered if they were perhaps discussing how much they would charge us for the right to trade with them. Trade deals are not free; what benefit would they request from us?
The hooded old woman approached us and raised one of her hands.
"So, you ate the fish from the sea," a strong voice sounded. It was a voice inside my head. My men were frightened, looking around in terror, searching for the source of the voice. "Answer!" the voice said again.
We kept searching for that voice and found nothing. All the people in the palace had their lips closed.
"I told you to answer! You have committed a great offense to the land of Ya Zhou!"
"Ya Zhou?" I whispered, confused, and after observing the old woman approaching and moving her hands, I understood that the voice came from her. It was strange because she didn't move her mouth, and I heard her voice as if she were speaking inside my mind.
"Ya Zhou is the name of this nation," said the old woman, indicating with her hand one of the small islands on the large map, in the middle of the ocean, between the arms of the C. "Now answer my question."
"Yes, yes, we ate the fish. How do you know?" I responded, hastily.
At that moment, the old woman screamed desperately and went to the man on the throne. I couldn't understand anything they were saying; this time, the voice didn't sound in my head, so I thought the old woman somehow prevented us from accessing the conversation.
"Captain, but what the hell is all this?" muttered Master Yn-On-Koepán, stuttering.
"I don't know," I said, dismayed. "This is starting to scare me," I replied.
"Silence!" interrupted the old woman's voice, echoing in every corner of my mind. The other sailors closed their eyes in a sudden grimace, similar to when one accidentally looks directly at the sun. "You have committed a terrible offense against the people of Ya Zhou by feeding on the fish of the sea! Killing the storms!"
"But what is she saying?" asked Master Yn-On-Koepán, angry, but he was reprimanded by the guards. "Killing the storms?"
"I am the one who asks the questions here," roared the disembodied voice of the old woman, sharp.
Then the ruler spoke in his unintelligible language, and afterward, the old woman spoke with her mind:
"The Emperor of Ya Zhou wishes to know what strangers like you are doing in these lands and why you dared to desecrate the cycle of life of the storms and seas."
After a moment of uncomfortable silence, I decided to answer.
"We come from far away, from the east. From a kingdom on the other side of the sea, very far," I tried to indicate clumsily with my gaze to the region that was to the east of the palace map. "We have traveled much of the world's circumference to seek the help of another people to share their food with us," I said.
"Exchange food?" responded the old woman, approaching the map and scrutinizing with a confused look the large blue patch of the sea on the map until it ended.
"You see, our nation is experiencing a great drought. Nothing grows in our landscapes anymore. There are no marine animals on the coasts, so we no longer have anywhere to get food. We will die of hunger…" I said.
But the old woman interrupted me.
"It can't be, it can't be!" exclaimed the voice. "You finished all the fish in your lands! You finished the fish!"
I closed my eyes, dazed, and fell to the ground from the intensity of the voice. I felt her desperate scream reverberate in every bone in my body. The old woman quickly approached to speak with the Emperor, who, after hearing what the woman said, exploded in anger and approached us with bloodshot eyes.
"The Emperor condemns you to death for interfering with the cycle of life of the storms," said the old woman.
All my men and I couldn't believe what she had just said.
"But what are you saying?! You are a witch, a damned witch!" shouted one of my men, who was then struck on the head and fell unconscious.
"The storms are made by the fish. And you took advantage of these sacred creatures. You… ate them," said the voice. The old woman approached us, holding in one of her hands one of the fish bone amulets confiscated by the guards. "This is the bone of a sea fish, one that makes typhoons. You took it, killed it, and devoured it. I know it perfectly."
I wondered how she knew the exact name of the fish, but then the old woman said:
"I can know what animals and men think. I saw you. I saw all your crew. Through the eyes of the fish you killed, I saw you all! I saw you eating shamelessly! Smiling, celebrating, dancing!" she responded, in an indignant tone.
I felt like vomiting, remembering the strange feeling I had when looking into the eyes of the fish on the Nao.
"So it was her…" I whispered, dejected.
The old woman took a deep breath and shouted again:
"Death to all of you!" she said in a voice, sounding like a beast in my thoughts.
"Please, this is a mistake! We were very hungry; we were about to die. When the fish appeared, we couldn't resist eating them. Who can resist ending terrible hunger?" I pleaded to the old woman, trying to intercede for myself and all my sailors. "We are very grateful to the fish; they brought us back to life! We will never eat them again! This is something I promise, in the name of everyone here and in the name of my people!"
At that moment, the Emperor spoke for a long time, with a strong and cutting voice. The old woman translated everything he said for us.
"The fish of the orb create whirlpools at certain times of the year, and with those vortices, tropical storms and typhoons are born, bringing the rains with which the land is fertilized and with which species of plants and animals can prosper. Every person in Ya Zhou knows about the life cycle of tropical storms. When there is a shortage of rains, it is when large schools of fish migrate to other parts of the world to fertilize them. But if they are caught and eaten, as you did, they will no longer want to return. You could have caused the fish to no longer want to come to the waters of our nation! It is surely what happened in your distant land! You ate all the fish until you finished them and killed your climate!" exploded the voice.
Then the woman approached the map and began to point to the large C and the islands in the middle of the large blue patch.
"These archipelagos are Ya Zhou. Here, right in the middle, the storms come. It is the best possible location. Here the climate is the most stable known." Then she pointed to the interior of the map, where the deserts were. "Here, to the west, there is nothing, only high mountains. So high are they that they eat the sun and nothing can pass through there," hearing this, I thought that perhaps those mountains were the Urals, the same ones we saw on our journeys through Pangea.
"The rains only reach the coasts, and the currents created by the fish are limited to this gulf. If the balance is broken, no matter how small, it would be the greatest catastrophe ever."
I thought that no one had seen a similar phenomenon in Xalisco; no one had seen flying fish creating storms. We didn't have the same climate. I thought that all this was unprecedented for us and that we had no way of knowing these secrets of nature. But then the old woman interrupted me, hearing my thoughts.
"That is because when the fish are hunted, they hide; they do not create storms; they do not dare to come out of the water. So they move away to calmer parts of the world, and the places they leave no longer have the irrigation of the monsoons; they become deserts, and the sun kills everything. You hunted your fish, killed the storms of your region of the world, and now you come to replicate the same barbarity here! To also turn Ya Zhou into a wasteland of death!" said the old woman, with desperate gestures.
How to convince her that all this was a confusion, a mistake?
"It is no mistake," the old woman snapped at me. "It is not permissible to forgive the life of someone who has altered the natural order. No matter how small it may be. If the fish die, there will be no more crops, no more food, and we will perish," said the old woman, while the Emperor, beside her, as if also listening to the thoughts of her speech, lunged at me and punched me.
I fell, with my teeth bathed in the metallic taste of blood.
"The Emperor wishes you a slow death," whispered the old woman's voice. "This crime is the worst of all crimes."
My men tried to defend me, but they were struck by the guards. Many fell with wounds on their faces. I got up with bloody teeth, trying not to fall into the temptation of anger and violence.
"Please, please, I beg you!" I implored the Emperor, who looked at me with rage. "We didn't know anything about this. We are completely ignorant. Please, forgive us! We will do anything to repair our damage. We will be your slaves if you wish, but please do not kill us. An entire nation on the other side of the world depends on our lives. Is there nothing that can calm your anger for the offense we unknowingly committed? Do you want lands? We will give you lands! We will give you all of Oaxaquia if you require it! Anything!" I sobbed, in a tone that made me appear humiliated.
"No," was the sharp response of the voice. "There are crimes, like murder, that are punished. But murder is killing a single person. On the other hand, devouring fish and disrupting the storms is worse than all the killings and wars combined. Do you understand? We cannot forgive this. The people of this kingdom, of all Ya Zhou, will think we are weak. And then, seeing that ignorant foreigners have managed to flout the most sacred prohibition of our kingdom, more people will dare to violate our laws. They will go fishing. And if that happens, you know, the fish will die, the storms will become scarcer, and there will be no solution to the hardships. Where will we go then to survive? How to know which direction the fish will go? Have you not thought that, feeling harassed, these creatures might decide to live forever in the middle of the ocean, far from any rock, any coast, any continent? We will die and disappear all because of forgiving barbarians like you!"
"It can't be!" I shouted, kneeling, trembling, and engulfed in bitter tears. "You can't be so lacking in compassion!"
"Years ago, we had executions of people who violated the fishing ban. But it has been a long time since that happened. Seeing the death of all of you will be a good deterrent and a reminder to all the bold ones who think they are smarter than the storms and the climate."
The Emperor said other things, and the old woman did not translate them. The soldiers separated us all and locked us in separate cells for weeks.
It is incredible that all this happened because of the bones of some fish and eating them. For surviving death. If this had not happened, if things had been better, my crew and I would have headed towards Xalisco to report this discovery and warn about the implications of predation on the sea. Perhaps I would have even requested the Emperor's permission to bring some of his fish to the seas of my nation to restore the storm cycles and, after so many years, finally bring rain to Xalisco.
During the days in the cell, I saw no one until the day of our execution arrived.
When we walked through the streets, we were pelted with stones by the inhabitants of Ya Zhou, angry with us. I knew they were cursing us because one doesn't have to be very smart to understand that. You can tell by the tone of their voice and the almost visceral movements of their mouths.
We arrived at a large cliff, where below the sea was crashing its waves against the rocks.
There were several sticks, many, similar to clubs, but there was no other equipment. They were simple wooden sticks.
We were tied, one by one, to those poles.
The people shouted at us. The Emperor, in the background, was seated with his entourage, except for the old woman who was on the scaffold with us and apparently would be in charge of the execution.
She said: "May your souls, your lives, and your deaths be cursed. May your skins, your hair, your nails, your organs, your blood, your teeth, and your excrement be cursed. May all the joints of your bodies, all the connections of your tissues also be cursed…" recited the old woman, while her hands moved in a ritual-like manner.
The things she cursed us with were endless. Her words flooded every part of our consciousness and became unbearable.
"May your death be a sacrifice to the fish gods, to those who make life possible in the world, who make climate and fertility possible. May the death of these men appease the wrath of the schools of fish and atone for the offense of having been devoured at sea," said the old woman.
"If this serves to prevent the death of a civilization, the death of the world, and the death of life, I am willing to die," I thought, resigned.
The old woman, hearing what I thought, looked at me and smiled.
Then she took out a large obsidian knife and approached me.
"I see you have understood," said the old woman. "I will have mercy on you. You will be the first to die."
She took the knife and began cutting parts of my skin.
I felt the cold of the sharp stone and the heat of the blood mixing with my tendons and muscles exposed to the air.
There came a moment when the pain was so intense that I started to see everything blurry.
My arms no longer functioned, and my body began to collapse.
I saw how I was cut into pieces until the blade passed through my neck, and soon I was seeing everything in absolute white.
"Your death will serve to feed the fish and calm the waters of the world," the old woman finished saying.
They threw my remains to the bottom of the cliff, where the waves furiously hit the rocks.
All my fragments were the food of the schools of fish that inhabit the depths.
After this death, I am in them, being their food.
Now I am part of the storms.
For Rafael Villegas
The Piker Press moderates all comments.
Click here for the commenting policy.