December 11, 2017

 

The Aser Stories 12: A Question of Nudity

 
 
 

Cloudraft the Wizard is eager to begin his vacation -- and my, won't he love to meet new people at the Nudist's Faire. Who knows, maybe he'll meet the broad and greasy sisters Knifeheart, Thiefheart, and Wolfheart ...

Tumblerapids is a nice city where the Frost River pours off the mountains, tumbles in pools and rapids for a good stretch, and then falls in picturesque mist and cascades to the next outcropping below.

I was sitting on a terrace at a bistro table with the wizard, Cloudraft the Great, having breakfast in the early hours just before the sun comes over the horizon. He'd conjured me the New York Times, what with having his wand tuned up and his magic hat back, and was feeling fine and expansive in the morning mountain air.

He put down a neatly folded newspaper on a stack of about ten others and said, "Well, Aser, I think I've earned a vacation. There's a lovely faire in Grovecreek coming up, just about a pass away. Nudist Recreation Week, you know. I plan on attending. Want to come along?"

"No, thank you," I replied politely, wishing he wasn't leaving so soon. I would really miss the newspapers.

"Have a problem with nudism, Aser?" he asked, his eyebrows raised in amusement.

"No, Cloudraft, in times of need, nudity is all you have. At this point, I have a little more than I need to resort to nudity as a way of life."

"Nonsense, it's recreative. Helps you realize what's important in life. Living naked for a while, you begin to sense the real basics of existence."

"And that's why you resorted to working at a diner for three years rather than walking naked along the mountain roads to get the sense of the real basics. I recall you saying that you were robbed of everything, including clothing, prior to that stellar employment. Shouldn't you have looked at the theft as being a watershed moment in your life, to encourage nudity and want as a way of life?"

"There's nakedness, and then there's nudity," he replied pompously.

"Yes," I said, "one is a condition, and the other is a choice."

"Oh, you're making it sound like some moral issue," he puffed, and pushed his chair back and left the table.

Yeah, it is a moral issue. People who are starving in hot countries live naked, and long for good times when they will have cloth to cover their bodies against the heat and the insects. In cold countries, having something to wrap around them means the difference between life or death. Die or suffer from nakedness? Only those who have plenty of comfort to back them up are able to look at bare-assedness as an option rather than a drawback.

Folks who really believe in recreational nudity will tell you that it strips away all the external status symbols and makes everyone equal. Sure it does. That is, if no one in the nude group has lice, crabs, or ringworm, and if everyone is fed well enough not to make you worry about emaciated people dropping dead in front of you. I suspect people still tend to look to see who has been able to afford a nice, smooth, all-over tan or the pedicure, manicure, nice haircut, and no butt pimples.

Oh, but the true nudist looks past all that at the inner person, not the outward shell. Okay, does that mean only nice inner people get to be nudists? Polite nice inner people only? No gallumphing groups of naked, joyously uninhibited lizardmen to offend the eye and ear?

So now the recreational nude needs to be comfortably well-off, healthy and standardly clean, and of the politely correct culture. Sounds a bit segregated to me, though I would hardly condemn anyone who was interested in a nude vacation, at least no more than I would a person who went on a golfing vacation. I just wonder, is nudity a way of life, or a way of vacationing from what you actually believe to be acceptable?

I don't do nudity except in public bath houses or at secluded beaches. I'm old and wrinkled, and I get cold easily. Others may be easier with exposing their bodies; I will not judge them. I just hope Cloudraft has a good time looking past externals, because before I left my little village home months ago, I heard the horny trolls called the Fart sisters talking about the vacation package they were taking in Grovecreek this year.

The Fart Sisters, Knifeheart, Thiefheart, and Wolfheart

Heh.

Article © Sand Pilarski. All rights reserved.
Published on 2007-05-14


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In the same series:

The Accursed
The Aser Stories: Sidelong
The Aser Stories 80: Cabin Fever
The Aser Stories 79: Just Don't Say It Before Spring
The Aser Stories 78: Judgment Call
The Aser Stories 77: "Are We There Yet?"
The Aser Stories 76: A Bone to Pick
The Aser Stories 75: Coalition Forces
The Aser Stories 74: Flying Monkeys
The Aser Stories 73: Elspeth, Ad Nauseam
The Aser Stories 072: Starve a Cold
The Aser Stories 071: House Call
The Aser Stories 70: Dinner Dates
The Aser Stories 69: Fire in the Hole
The Aser Stories 68: The Silk Fable
The Aser Stories 67: The Simple Life
The Aser Stories 66: For What You're Worth
The Aser Stories 65: Taking a Shot
The Aser Stories 64: Second Chances
The Aser Stories 63: The Second Step
The Aser Stories 63: Second Thoughts
The Aser Stories 60: Fish Story
The Aser Stories 59: Ace in the Hole
The Aser Stories 58: Knowledge is Power
The Aser Stories 57: Animal Tracks
The Aser Stories 56: Oz Can Keep Them All
The Aser Stories 55: Small Comfort
The Aser Stories 54: Letting Go
The Aser Stories 53: In a Spirit of Healing
The Aser Stories 52: Stinkin' Kids
The Aser Stories 51: No Words For It
The Aser Stories 50: The Friend in Need
The Aser Stories 49: Run for Cover
The Aser Stories 48: On the Fly
The Aser Stories 47: Just Thievery
The Aser Stories 46: Take My Shaman ... Please
The Aser Stories 45: Hot Stuff
The Aser Stories 44: Courtesy Call
The Aser Stories 43: Adding Insult to Injury
The Aser Stories 42: Natural Selection
The Aser Stories 41: Funny Business
The Aser Stories 40: Happy Endings
The Aser Stories 39: Working Dogs
The Aser Stories 38: Taking Sides
The Aser Stories 37: Dumb Animals
The Aser Stories 36: Harsh Words
The Aser Stories 35: Endangered Species
The Aser Stories 34: Common Language
The Aser Stories 33: Legal Torture
The Aser Stories 32: Whose Fault Is It?
The Aser Stories 31: Money Talks
The Aser Stories 30: The Perils of Sympathy
The Aser Stories 29: Raccoons
The Aser Stories 28: The Ghost of Garfer Miller
The Aser Stories 27: Dynamite
The Aser Stories 26: Junk Mail
The Aser Stories 25: Rose-Covered Cottages
The Aser Stories 24: Crime and Punishment
The Aser Stories 23: Image Is Everything
The Aser Stories 22: Is As Does
The Aser Stories 21: Gourmet Dining
The Aser Stories 20: Families and How They Are
The Aser Stories 19: The Difference Between Men and Women
The Aser Stories 18: On a Silver Platter
The Aser Stories 17: Point of View
The Aser Stories 16: Easy Street
The Aser Stories 15: Moguls
The Aser Stories 14: A Mile Toward Change
The Aser Stories 13: The Price of Freedom
The Aser Stories 12: A Question of Nudity
The Aser Stories 11: Rabbit From a Hat
The Aser Stories 10: Awards
The Aser Stories 09: On A Roll
The Aser Stories 08: Raising Children
The Aser Stories 07: Crosspasses Market
The Aser Stories 06: Judge, Jury, Shaman
The Aser Stories 05:Habit and Stubbornness
The Aser Stories 04: The Wrong Question
The Aser Stories 03: The Labor of Love
The Aser Stories 02: Soup du Jour
The Aser Stories 01: Popping the Big Question
The Aser Stories 40a: Customary Behavior
The Aser Stories 36a: Madly In Love
The Aser Stories 03a: Descent to the Underworld

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